Headlines:

Couple Finds Purple Squirrel in Backyard — Man accused of driving truck over ex-girlfriend’s head — N.B. Man Sells landlord’s car for crack — Man charged with stealing baby’s ashes — Afghan hash disguised as chocolate drink mix — Ballerina killed by cars after stopping to help wounded animal — Teen model ‘sorry’ for racist Facebook posts — Badger woman nominated for Juno — Playmate Seeks Restraining Order Against Hefner’s Son -&-Beef-jerky underwear for Valentine’s?