Headlines:

300-Pound Naked Man Walks Into Walmart, Steals Socks — Judge tosses free speech lawsuit by man in gorilla suit  — Shoe riot erupts at Central Florida Foot Locker — Renfrew man stabbed spouse, told her to clean blood, had sex, then partied — Airline lets you use Facebook to pick seatmates — Dutch prince buried in avalanche may never wake up — Dad Dies in Fire Searching for Daughter Who Wasn’t Home-&-Test-tube meat on its way to a store near you