Headlines:

Nic Cage image hijacks woman’s job application — Batman’s Gliding Method Debunked — Nugent drummer accused of golf cart theft — Thugs who left goth girl unable to smile following savage attack are jailed — Thieves bust through wall of Chicago store to steal $230,000 worth of hair extensions — Cross-dressing maid grabbed teen’s genitals, cops say — Man pleads not guilty to leaving mom covered in feces from head to feet — Deadmau5 vows to find crooks who broke into his mom’s house — Saskatchewan boy dies after jumping from parade float — Girl banned from soccer game for refusing to remove hijab -&- New Yorkers Like Their Drinks Big, rally in “Million Gulp March”